i am not your freud

dating shows

2012-01-07T17:56:00.004+01:00

hello blogsters.

i've been watching a lot of stupid dating shows recently. it's a good way of letting your brain take some time off, since you won't be needing it much whilst watching. my brain goes on holidays to a sunny beach when i watch these shows. i highly recommend it if you come home with too much in your mind and you need a break.

take me out: this one is originally an australian show, but the aussie version is a bit boring, which is weird because i think aussies are so much fun. anyways, i've watched a lot of episodes of the irish one. there is one guy, 30 girls who have a light each and the guy is trying to impress the girls. the girls who are turned off by the guy as he speaks (or sings, which is almost never a good idea in this show) turn their light off. in the end, the guy picks one of the remaining girls and takes her out on a date - if there are any girls left, that is. here are my impressions about the irish one:

a lot of girls reject a guy just because he is from cork. one girl even said "i don't want to go 'sorry??' every two seconds", whereas even i could understand him.
some girls reject a guy because he is from the same town, saying they need a break from that circle (what?!) and some girls reject a guy because they are from different cities, saying they can't be bothered with the distance.
when a fit girl is picked to go on a date with the contestant, she must be replaced with a very fat one in the next episode.
when asked what they want in a man, some girls answer "just a pulse".
guys define trashy looking girls who wear waaay too much make up as "gorgeous".
sometimes a girl turns off her light because she has already dated the guy before entering the show or she is friends with someone who has (seriously, is ireland THAT small?!)
if he is into sports, a lot of girls turn their lights off saying they don't like sports and that he wouldn't have time for her if he did a lot of sports. (huh?!?)
i really like the host, ray foley.

dating in the dark: this one was created in netherlands. i have watched some episodes of the us, uk and australia versions. there are guys and girls staying in different parts of a house and they have dates in a light tight room. in the end they have to decide who they want to see in the light and if they like what they see, they go to the balcony and hope that the other one shows up. then they either meet the other one in the balcony and leave the house together or watch the other one leave OR (even better) watch the other one leave with another contestant.

the contestants in "take me out" are more light hearted than those in dating in the dark. they just wanna go on a date and have fun, whereas the dating in the dark people always say that they are there to find true love. some guys even say "i want to meet the mother of my children...in the dark".
some contestants are very good looking and they say they want to do this, because they are tired of being judged based on their good looks only. (pshhh give me a break)
i find it very entertaining when they get along very well and make out in the dark and then see each other and go "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!". some girls say very big words like "omg i'm like totally in love, this is the real deal" but they change their minds when they see the person.
another thing that i find entertaining is when they come back from the date and the guy says "yeah it went pretty well, we hit it off, i think she enjoyed it too, i wanna date her again" and the girl says "WHAT.WAS.THAT?"
what i have learnt from this experiment: love may be seeing impaired but it definitely isn't blind. just kidding, i knew this all along.

the bachelor: it's fake. that's all you should know. here is an awesome parody from "thank god you're here", which is an awesome improvisation show from australia.

friends will be friends

2011-11-18T23:58:00.001+01:00

today i heard another nice quote from a friend of mine at the metro:

-he is not my type. he looks like he would order his steak raw
-how does one look like that?!
-i don't know... he is very skinny, he has long hair and... he just does, ok?

i love my friends.

2011-10-01T22:01:00.001+02:00

back in vienna. it's been a while actually, but i've been busy with visa stress and intensive partying. stupid visa.

i was at the metro with one of my flatmates yesterday. this tall blonde guy entered the train.

me: well hello there cute guy
flatmate: where?
me: over there. i think he is an 8.
flatmate: naaah... i'd say 5.
me: you call this a 5?! what kind of guys do you hang out with?!
flatmate: i don't know, i'm just not that into the whole "wild canadian forest man" look
me: there is such a look?
flatmate: nah i just came up with it
me: why canadian?
flatmate: i don't know
me: why forest man?
flatmate: he has a beard.

i live with interesting people.

speaking of canadians, we went to the "city and colour" concert last night. it was pretty amazing.

i did not make this video. dallas green (the lead singer) was saying that people are sometimes so busy trying to capture the moment that they forget to enjoy it. which is true actually, but then again it's good to have something to remember the night by. so i'm glad that someone bothered to make a video or two.

gotta love the weird signs

2011-08-22T19:12:00.004+02:00

being a huge fan of weird signs, this website is my personal heaven:

http://www.happyplace.com/4042/most-absurd-warnings-and-product-disclaimers

i came back to istanbul from the south of turkey today. i had to do a 12 hour long bus trip, which was not a lot of fun, so i'm glad that's over. i did, however, have a lot of fun in the south of turkey with one of my best friends. hanging out at the beach during day and hitting the night life later was awesome. sometimes i get this feeling that life should be all about boat trips and nights out. then life itself gets in the way and i get distracted.

i'm going back to austria in about a week. funny how that foreign country feels like a second home to me and i miss it when i'm away.

downloading a shit load of albums at the moment. need new music!! been listening to a lot of electro stuff lately. i like them as long as they have a melody and a bit of a humanity in it, so that it doesn't sound like i'm listening to robots practicing s&m.

i was watching this film called "mr nobody" on the bus, but turned out they didn't have all of it (weird). it was cut towards the end. gotta find it and watch the rest, it seems like a very good movie. jared leto is starring. i also watched "love happens" on the bus and i suggest they change the title with "nothing happens". you should do better stuff, jennifer aniston. i really like jennifer aniston, although she plays rachel in every single movie.

oh and adam sandler's "oh look at me i'm a guy. i'm funny and stuff , get a load of me. i would make a great dad but i'm just a bit confused, you gotta get into my head a little. oh well i'm just a guy" character, which he plays in every single movie, makes me wanna spank his mouth with a size 47 plastic slipper.

warm hugs from a very warm country

erin go bragh!!

2011-05-12T00:13:00.002+02:00

i went to ireland with a friend, spent a week there and celebrated st patrick's day in dublin. we also went to some small towns near dublin (dun laoghaire and howth) and saw some beautiful scenery. we were actually planning on going to some other cities including galway, but things didn't go according to plan. looks like i'm gonna have to go back! i had an amazing time there, the people i met were so nice and friendly. i love the fact that shop owners or bartenders go "hey how are you?" or "hi, you ok there?" instead of a plain "bitte", like they do in vienna.

we spent 4 nights with an irish family, so we pretty much had the ultimate irish experience :) when we failed to sort out the accommodation for those nights because of a change in plans, an internet friend of mine whom i've been chatting with for like 5 years now, invited me and my friend to stay with him and his family. it was so nice of him especially given the fact that we had never actually met in person. i don't know what we would have done without him. i have lots of great memories; like his dad getting everyone drunk on dinner table, singing irish folk songs, chilling at home with him and his sisters, his mom cooking delicious irish dishes, his dad teaching us gaelic words and expressions, which we were very excited and curious about, while the children rolled their eyes :) they made us feel really welcome and they treated us like one of their own.

i really enjoyed the st patrick's day parade. i had never seen a parade before. the streets were full of people in green. dublin was crawling with tourists throughout the whole week. actually, there weren't many irish in the bars or on the streets. either they evacuated the city or they were hiding in a tourist free zone somewhere.

i have to say that i was very surprised by the fact that most bars in dublin close at midnight during the week. there was one tourist bar with unbelievably expensive drinks which was open till 2. the first time we were in a bar in dublin and the lights started flickering to call last orders (at midnight!!), i thought there was something wrong with the lighting. that might be the reason why half of ireland is in vienna. the other half should get their asses over here too, we need more irish.

nearly all of my friends here told me to bring a cute irish guy back with me but i'm afraid that mission has failed. "ps i love you" gives you false expectations. i mean even that ugly neurotic bitch can find a cute irish guy to kill merely by nagging the living hell out of him and yet my friend and i went home empty handed. oh well, maybe next time.

i can't summarize my entire trip or upload all of the photos here, but i can say that i love the country, had a great time and i'm looking forward to seeing more of it.

a place near the kilmainham gaol

the liffey

tourism office

no caption necessary

traditional irish folk music

st patrick's day parade!

phone conversation with my dad :)

2011-03-01T20:36:00.003+01:00

-Hello

-Hello dad!! How are you this fine day?

-I’m fine thanks, how are you? You sound awfully cheerful, what happened? Are you getting married or something? (what?!)

-No, I got the visa dad, I’m going to Ireland for a week! Actually now that you mention it, I might as well just get married there and never come back.

-Oh no don’t do that, their economy is doomed! They’re going down! First Greece and now Ireland. (so THAT's the reason why i shouldn't get married to a random person during my one week trip in ireland)

- I don’t care! Irish people are so cool and I get along well with them. Besides, if I get married to one, I can live and work there or anywhere in Europe. No more visa hassle. Imagine that!

- *Sigh* I’m handing the phone over to your mom.

super-bureaucratize me!

2011-01-07T18:20:00.007+01:00

austrian bureaucracy is probably worse than the turkish one. and trust me, the turkish one is pretty bad.

if you are a non-EU citizen moving to austria, you have a lot of fun ahead of you. enjoy! (enthusiastic tap on the shoulder). you have to extend your visa every year, which means you have to get up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, go to that visa place in the middle of nowhere, take a number and pace in the corridor for hours with other people and crying children, only to find out that you have one document missing. they are very creative about that one document. just because you extended your visa with specific documents last year, doesn't mean that they don't want to see a different one this time. one that they never mentioned before. like that time when they suddenly decided that they wanted a signed document from one of my flatmates which states that i live with them. because the official document that stated my address and the rent contract wasn't enough. they also wanted it to state till when i could stay there. there was no such deadline but they said there had to be a date there, so i wrote 2030.

during that joyful time of the year when i have to extend my visa, i have to go to the insurance place to get some documents. last time i went there, i realized that the address on the paper was my old address. i told that to the lovely lady behind the desk and she asked me if i came here to change my address before. they have this very useful online service, with the help of which you can change your details by entering your name and insurance number, so i told her i changed it online. that's when she raised her head and looked at me for the first time. she gave me such a look that not only did i die a little inside but i also (for one second) wondered if she was blind. then i quickly realized that having sight could be important if one has to deal with paperwork for a living. with 20 people waiting behind me, she took the liberty to tell me off while burning my soul with her eyes:

- do you know how many people there are in vienna?
+ i don't know... more than a million?
- 2 million. what do you think would happen if all of them tried to change their details online?
+ ... (she actually waited for an answer)
- there would be chaos!
+ why do you have that online service, then?! it says on your website that i can do it online.
- it doesn't work that way, you have to come here in person.
+ well i didn't know about that. you could have just told me so, you don't have to be so unfriendly!
- i am not unfriendly. you try dealing with so many people every day and let's see how friendly you will be.
- i would but it's not my job.

and then she gave a fatal error and had to be restarted. all of the unsaved data was lost.

i really don't like it when officers tell you off as if you were a kid just because they are frustrated with their jobs and i'm pretty sure they come a little behind those desks every time they come up with a snappy answer.

bureaucracy = waiting, moody officers, papers, more papers, paper-cuts and stamps. i envy the popularity of stamps in this country. if bureaucracy was an american high school, stamps would be dating the cheerleading captain. when i was applying for a student visa here, they wanted me to get every single document i brought from turkey stamped with this special, international stamp which states that the document is same as the original. because all the documents had to be original documents and they still wanted that stamp on them, i had to persuade some officers in istanbul to stamp the back of my high school and university diplomas. yes, they wanted to see my high school diploma too. "so you're a college graduate, well done, but did you go to high school?"

i keep hearing that they want to see people's birth certificates, because an ID or a passport wouldn't prove that you were actually born and not made in a laboratory or abandoned by aliens. i wonder when they will ask for mine. maybe next time i apply for a visa extension, they'll decide that they want to see that... translated, stamped with 38743892 stamps, brought there by my parents and the doctor who delivered me.

my favorite form of bureaucracy is however probably the one i have to go through so that i can get a tourist visa. "what?! you have to get a visa to go abroad for a few days?!" my friends say. as the owner of a turkish passport, which is as useful as a pokemon sticker book, i can assure you that i have to get a visa if i intend to go abroad for a few minutes (except for some countries). now that i live abroad, i don't need to get a visa for EU countries (except for england and ireland). i've been to england once. i had to fill a 12 page long application form with supporting documents - things that prove that i'm not a criminal and that i have money and that i didn't steal that money and 398298392 documents about my family, who weren't even going etc. when i finally got the visa and went to england, i had to persuade this guy behind some desk that i was good enough to enter his country. i'm not even talking about passport control, this was right after i got off the plane. at least he wasn't unfriendly. he asked me some questions and then wanted to see my return tickets. he kindly informed me that they were in turkish. apparently buying things from turkey can cause that. i pointed out that the dates were in numbers. he let me go.

sooo my dear friends in london, this is why i haven't come to visit you yet. BUT going to london is one of my new year's resolutions. it's actually the only one i came up with so far. and dublin: as soon as i find someone to go with (and get a visa), YOU'RE NEXT.

little monsters

2010-12-04T23:00:00.004+01:00

so yeah work can be tiring. especially if you don't get paid for it.

i thought this was going to be more about patients and therapy sessions, but turns out it's mostly about helping immigrant turkish children with their homework and playing with them after they're done. it's the playing part that i find difficult.

i don't want to play dodgeball or uno with kids! or with anyone, for that matter.

i've never been a huge fan of kids, to be honest. i like the quiet cute ones (rare piece) whose cheeks i can squeeze and who i can talk to for a bit until i give them back or put them where i found them. this "giving them back when i want" thing is important, which is a luxury i don't have at work.

and they're not quiet. oh no.

i have to persuade them to do their homework and not run around and to let me help them with the stuff they don't understand.

yesterday, i found out the first rule of helping them when they tell me they don't understand what they're supposed to do. so apparently, before i start explaining, i have to ask "have you read the question?" because they usually don't and just expect you to do it for them so that they don't have to. they know how to wrap you around their finger. i have a lot to learn from them.

i think they like me though, for some reason. i like them too, even if they drive me crazy sometimes. so there's progress.

i have to come up with ideas, educational and fun things i can do with them once they're done with the homework, so that i don't just play uno with them and do something useful. so that i can actually help.

although i only want to work with adults once i start working for real, i still think i can learn a lot from this. i'm learning how to be patient, how to set boundaries and how to find alternative solutions to problems. at least i'm trying.

teacher: so kids, there's only 3 of you left, wanna go home half an hour early?
kids: nooo
me: ah come on, let's go home. there's nothing left to do, anyway.
kids: nooo! (happily realizing that they found a button to push)
me: alright then if you don't go home now, it means we'll stay here and read all episodes of star wars till the end. oh look what we have here! episode one.
boy: cool i love star wars!
me: great! so you can read it for us. it's in german and i'll make you translate every sentence to turkish to see if you understood.
kids: have a nice weekend!! *road runner effect*
me: you too!

i had an interesting conversation with one of the teachers yesterday, right before i left:

- have a nice weekend. don't talk to strangers and don't go with them, even if they offer you sweets.
- even if they're good looking?
- ?!
- ok, especially if they're good looking.

next week, i'm starting to observe therapy sessions with a patient regularly. YES!

kids

2010-11-08T20:42:00.004+01:00

i started working in an organization as an intern today. a team of psychologists, psychotherapists, pedagogues, teachers help immigrants integrate. i helped some immigrant children with their homework today. it felt good to be able to do something for people instead of sitting at home calculating test statistics for hours and studying test theory, although i have no intention whatsoever to construct a test. even working with noisy kids is better than that.

8 year old girl: are you married?
me: no
8 year old girl: i don't want to get married
me: why not?
8 year old girl: i don't like marriage. men drink, drink, drink and then they beat their wives up. i see it on tv all the time.
me: is that what happens at home?
8 year old girl: no. daddy doesn't drink. he doesn't beat anyone up either.
me: see? there are some nice men out there as well
8 year old girl: yeah but that's daddy.

they said that i could also join some counseling sessions, as long as the patients are ok with it. i'm really looking forward to that.

2010-11-03T22:32:00.001+01:00

ah screw this, i want it to be summer all the time.

falling

2010-10-30T03:35:00.002+02:00

Haven't you seen me sleep walking
Cause I've been holding your hand
Haven't you noticed me drifting
Oh, let me tell you I am

Tell me it's nothing
Try to convince me
That I'm not drowning
Oh, let me tell you I am

Please, please tell me you know
I've got to let you go
I can't help falling
Out of love with you

Why I am feeling so guilty
Why I am holding my breath
Worry about everyone but me
I just keep losing myself

Tell me it's nothing
Try to convince me
That I'm not drowning
Oh let me tell you I am

Please, please tell me you know
I've got to let you go
I can't help falling
Out of love with you

Oh, won't you read my mind
Don't you make me like you
I hear
Please, Please tell me you know
I've got to let you go
I can't help falling
Out of love with you

things that make you go "hmm hmm"

2010-10-21T15:56:00.006+02:00

i live in a country where:
-they hate pigeons and think that they're rats with wings
-people take their cats for a walk. yes, on a leash.

glory box

2010-10-18T20:56:00.003+02:00

i remember writing this lyric in my diary when i was about 17 and meaning it:

"i'm so tired of playing, playing with this bow and arrow, gonna give my heart away, leave it to the other girls to play"

so what was i already tired of? how many complicated relationships had i had that i couldn't help but rebel against love?

none.

teenagers are such drama queens.

now, however, i feel like i have the right to say this and mean it. hell i can write it on every wall in this city if i want to.

i'm sure i'm gonna think about this in 10 years and think that i was a wally.

question

2010-10-13T14:30:00.002+02:00

are you suffering from too much libido syndrome?

does your partner tell you to fuck off because they want to get some sleep?

here's the ultimate libido reducer: www.internetshouldbeillegal.com

you're welcome.

boys and girls

2010-10-02T19:29:00.002+02:00

one's ego gets very vulnerable when drunk. don't drink and blog, kids.

a friend of mine's boyfriend of 4 years broke up with her at the airport after a one month holiday they spent together, giving her the same old "it's not you, it's me" shit. i don't understand boys. seriously.

i ran into a friend's ex last night. he was trying to impress his spanish date. he went to the toilet for a few minutes and when he came back, some guy was chatting her up. he just joined the conversation, talking to the guy. i called him over and said to him privately "look what you're doing is too austrian, or rather germanic. some guy is hitting on your date and you just stand there thinking 'she is an independent woman, she can tell him to go if she wants', blaaah blah... yes she is independent, but that doesn't mean that you should show no interest in the situation. i'm not telling you to beat the guy up or anything, just recognize the fact that he is hitting on your date and cut him off, make him feel left out".

he said "ok i understand" and went back to the scene. he threw his arm around her, said something to the guy and the guy left. success! i wish i could get paid for this kind of lessons.

a guy friend of mine said that being attractive and sexy were two very different things and a sexy person didn't have to be attractive. how can you be sexy and not attractive? isn't sex appeal somehow related to attractiveness? i'll leave you with these questions.

i'm looking forward to being able to look forward to something

2010-10-01T17:14:00.003+02:00

i woke up giggling a few days ago. i was dreaming about he-man, i don't even remember what i saw, but apparently it was so funny that i woke up because i was giggling. today, however, i woke up crying. had horrible nightmares. my subconscious wasn't being nice to me at all. why can't i just have ridiculous dreams like the rest of the people? maybe it's because i'm swamped with bureaucracy nowadays.

i recently became a fan of charlie brooker and i watched all of the episodes of "you have been watching". it's a great show, i highly recommend it. he has other shows like newswipe, screenwipe etc.

oh god i don't know why but i'm so tired. and boring. bye.

i lost myself in the summer rain

2010-09-10T04:48:00.003+02:00

going back to austria in like 10 hours. why do i always have trouble going to sleep in reasonable hours, especially if i have to do something important the next day? ok don't answer that.

i still have to finish packing. grandma gave me 3 boxes of turkish delights and i wonder what i'm going to do with them. the ones i brought last time are still not finished. i guess it's time i started distributing them, my flatmates obviously don't consume sweet and sticky things on a daily basis.

you know how you look forward to something and are very happy during and feel kinda stranded a few days after it's over, because you don't have something huge to look forward to anymore? that's how i feel after the U2 concert in istanbul. i'll write about it sometime (soon, hopefully).

i hope all is fine in your neck of the woods, who and wherever you are.

"it's not why you're running
it's where you're going
it's not what you're dreaming
but what you're gonna do

it's not where you're born
it's where you belong
it's not how weak
but what will make you strong"

nowadays

2010-08-17T11:32:00.003+02:00

i'm trying to go with the flow, thankyouverymuch.

back home

2010-07-24T22:23:00.002+02:00

i'm in istanbul. i was at the cranberries concert the day before yesterday. it was the first time i saw them live. they rocked!! dolores is so sweet and friendly. i'm looking forward to the u2 concert in september!! i have never seen them live before and i'm so psyched. i love irish bands. gwan ya mad yokes!

in other news, i'm melting here and loving it. it was so rainy and depressive in austria when i left.

should i watch something or go to bed? hmm...

zoo station

2010-06-01T14:21:00.022+02:00

i fell in love with berlin! it's multicultural, there are more people and different kinds of people in comparison to vienna and a lot of different things to do. the street art alone is a reason to visit berlin. also, there is something about the city, i can't describe it. i'm definitely going back there!

so here's a chronological summary of my trip:

i had a nice road trip with people i'd just met. i became friends with one of the girls, who let me crash at her place that night. it was unbelievably nice of her. on our way to berlin we passed through czech republic. that's where i saw excalibur.

my new friend took me to this place called "c-base". it's where computer and science fiction lovers hang out. no no it's not nerdy it's pretty cool. it's decorated like a spaceship. it's not exactly a bar, but they also have a bar inside and the drinks are crazily cheap. my friend was saying hi to her friends as i was looking around, pushing buttons, playing with gadgets, which blink and make sounds, in a very impressed fashion. then she introduced me to them:

-say hi to my alien, she is a very nice girl from vienna.
-alien?
-oh yeah that's what we call non-members.
-right.yeah hi, i come in peace etc.

what you see in the photo is the waiting area in front of the toilets.

welcome to a brand new episode of "weird signs i see in europe". at first i thought this was "do not breakdance in front of the stripy red door" but then i noticed that the diagonal red line that indicates "do not" wasn't there, so i guess it means "do the metro station dance everybody!"

the former american sector.

the wall museum is a must go. don't worry, there are much more interesting photos inside haha

such a beautiful city

thanks to irish berliner i found out about the alternative berlin tour. a tour guide shows you and other tourists some not so touristic gems in berlin. you travel around the city with a group for 3,5 half hours and it's free! unbelievable! my brother and my dad had an early flight home that day and i had a train in the evening so i had the whole day to myself and a lot of time to discover the everyday non touristic berlin.

there are beautiful artworks on what is left of the berlin wall.

this is one of my favorites. i asked the tour guide about this building but he didn't know anything about it. the writings on it are all turkish suffixes that come to the end of verbs. because the verbs themselves aren't there, they just mean things like "apparently we have", "apparently they have", "you have" etc. the tour guide was happy about this new information. apparently it was the first time that someone from turkey attended one of his tours.

after the tour, i went to the carnival of cultures. lots of different music, lots of different food, an enormous festival area and 328978927389278 people. it was a lot of fun. i listened to some nice music and had something to eat and then i tried to walk around the whole area but i couldn't. there was pedestrian traffic jam most of the time and like i said the place was enormous. so i just walked a little and then chilled on the grass.

i took lots of photos but i'm too lazy to upload all of them here. just go and see berlin for yourself. i'm sure you'll like it. oh and don't forget to do the alternative berlin tour.

ich bin ein berliner!... oder?

2010-05-17T19:51:00.006+02:00

sooo i'm going to berlin for a few days. yep. my brother and my dad are going there so we'll meet up there. i'm going to arrive in berlin one day before they do, so i'll just try to experience the non-touristic, everyday berlin by myself because i know that i'll see enough of the touristic stuff while i hang around with them. i'm looking forward to it.

the flights and trains were unbelievably expensive, so i'm traveling with a car full of people that i don't know. there is this website where people leave an announcement saying they are driving somewhere, telling you how many people they can take with them and how much it costs. it's usually the cheapest way to get somewhere. this whole idea of talking to someone briefly on the phone to ask if they have a vacancy and then driving in their car with them for hours used to sound pretty dodgy to me, but one day i had to do it. i really really needed to go back to vienna from munich and the last minute train tickets were... well... out of the question, unless you're so rich that you pay people to watch them eat their shoes because you're bored or something. so yeah a friend of mine suggested i do that (a road trip with strangers, not the one about watching people eat their shoes) and it turned out to be a very nice and comfy ride with friendly people. i sure hope that my second experience will be just the same.

alright so i'll just make a cup of tea and watch the season finale of supernatural. i'll be back with my berlin impressions sometime.

things that make you go "hmmm"

2010-05-15T06:15:00.003+02:00

yesterday i saw a woman who was running down the street completely naked. she was running away from the police. today, i saw a woman who was changing her underwear in the middle of the street. i don't understand why some people still think that freud was a perv.

new boredom busters: 5 second films and wtf japan seriously?!

i somehow managed to walk home. i have no idea how i did that.

-how much does this slice of pizza cost?
-10 euros
-excuse me?!
-haha joke. it costs 2.50
-that's not funny
-why are you laughing then?
-i'm not.

you know, sometimes i kinda understand why people don't like the turks here. being able to understand that is painful. i don't like most of the turks here either. see above. what makes me sad is that a lot of them believe that we are all the same whereas there are weird people or stupid people everywhere. oh and believe me, i live in the city of weirdness.

i'm drinking a lot of water hoping that it's gonna ease my hangover down tomorrow.

seriously, college humor?

2010-04-27T20:36:00.003+02:00

i hope i won't be saying that in the future.

drunk, so... sorry about potential typos or weird sentences

2010-04-09T05:51:00.004+02:00

so this guy calls my name in a pub and i look at him

me: you have exactly 10 seconds to explain to me, why you didn't call me after having asked for my number 3 times.
guy: i was scared
me: not good enough
guy: ok, i understand

i'm sorry but austrian guys are plain stupid. yes they are.

and then this guy calls me while we're in the same pub, like 1,5 meters apart from each other, trying to be cute.

it doesn't work.

"i know this was not what you wanted" lyrics of "day old hate"

he stares at me all night long while i'm talking to other people.

seriously??

are you stupid? i guess you are.

a friend of him says "you know, he's a very special guy"

i beg to differ.

he's just like any other austrian or german guy: weird

that's nothing special.

and you know what? i have had it up to here.

back in town

2010-03-13T18:11:00.006+01:00

apparently weekends are for getting drunk and doing statistics assignments (not at the same time though) or avoiding them by writing blog posts.

my best friend in austria just called me to let me know that she's coming over to study. she was pissed at some girls sitting next to her in a cafe shouting and laughing like they wanted the whole world to know how much fun they were having. she said one of them had a striking california accent and the other one was probably austrian.

how to spot a boring austrian guy: they always wear rectangular shaped glasses
how to spot an interesting austrian guy: i'm still working on that one

whenever i meet a foreigner who lives here, i ask them where they are from and why they moved to austria at some stage in the conversation. recently i realized that every single person who is from an english speaking country and is not a student, moved here for the same reason:

they had an austrian lover.

now when i meet these people, i don't even ask anything anymore. i just say "let me guess... you moved here to be with your austrian boyfriend/girlfriend. it didn't work out, but you decided to stay here for the hell of it. now you work in an irish pub (or any international pub where they speak english) and you have commitment issues."

they always say yes.

so that's probably why there is an irish pub in every corner in vienna: there are a lot of innocent victims who were charmed and imported to vienna by evil austrian tourists and they need to work in an english speaking environment.

ok now that i got that off my chest, i can continue working on my assignment.

gotta love black books

2010-03-13T18:08:00.003+01:00

via daily dose of dylan moran

i'm leaving on a jet plane

2010-02-02T04:48:00.003+01:00

i'm going home tomorrow. home, as in home, home. istanbul. i'll be staying there for a few weeks. i'm looking forward to seeing the people i haven't seen in 6 months and celebrating my birthday with them for the first time in 2 years. i should have gone to sleep actually, but somehow i don't want to. i can never sleep properly during the night before i travel, anyway.

how am i supposed to study for my exams, which i'm going to have when i return, while i'm there? how? how?!?

i watched "the invention of lying". it was a very interesting film on a very interesting subject. it takes place in a world, where nobody knows about the existence of lying and everybody says what they think and feel without even sugarcoating it. a world without the unconscious mind. and then one guy (ricky gervais, who also wrote the film) "invents" lying. it could have been better without the romantic comedy cliches, but it's still worth watching.

my brother asked me to bring him some kind of cheese. i bought it today and carried it around for a while and it made my bag stink like a dead skunk. i'm sure the man of my dreams saw me on the street today, thought "this is the woman of my dreams, i have to go and introduce my wonderful, handsome and funny self" but as he was approaching me, his nose started bleeding and then he had a brain hemorrhage.

right. i gotta go to bed now.

dylan moran

2010-01-06T03:23:00.003+01:00

i watched "a film with me in it" today. it's brilliant. it made me appreciate dylan moran even more. i love his humor. he is such a genius.

check out this interview on norwegian tv:

i love the awkwardness and how they don't get him. culture shock, anyone?

munich

2010-01-02T18:49:00.015+01:00

so i'm back from munich. it's a nice little city. here are some of my impressions:

* this is the national theater. there are a lot of greek pillars around the city. back in the day, germans used to be huge fans of the greek. in fact, ludwig I, the duke of baveria said "i will not rest until munich looks like athens". true story.

* when you go to a bar, 50 year old guys don't hesitate to chat you up. looks like the sugar daddy business is doing fine in munich.

* one of freddie mercury's stage costumes at the hard rock cafe

*this is the town hall. there are some figures moving and making sounds on (/in?) this building, which can be seen from the outside. it's a huge tourist attraction.

*gotta love these weird european signs. this is apparently the zone where women can hold hands with a kid while wearing a skirt.

* a very creative christmas tree in a shop

* the streets of munich

* this is the weirdest bar in munich. it's called the roy bar. apparently, there was a disturbance in the space-time continuum and everybody here got stuck in the 80's forever. but they kept on aging because we were the only ones under the age of 45. more weird facts: there was a picture of david copperfield on the wall, which was taken in this very bar.

* i took this picture in a munich exhibition. this is the statue of an angel child fighting a lion, which represents war. as you can see, he is totally kicking war's ass. gotta appreciate the irony.

*munich nightlife. two words: jam packed. it was impossible to move and hard to breathe in almost every club. there was a line in front of this club at 3 o'clock on a monday night. unbelievable. also, i noticed that a lot of people were wearing the "there's gotta be something wrong with THAT guy" hat in munich, just like this guy in the picture.

so yeah that's it. i hope you enjoyed the little munich tour. well i did.

oh by the way, happy belated new year! i have a feeling that this is going to be a better year, cause i don't think it can suck 3 years in a row. but then again, you never know.

i hate it when you're right, dukic.

2009-12-22T00:19:00.001+01:00

"As long as you want it so bad, it's not gonna happen. The only way it's gonna work is if it doesn't matter."

doin' yo mom

2009-12-20T16:25:00.003+01:00

i find this funny for some reason. and the song is pretty catchy. i sang it all day long yesterday.

one of the guys from the video, ray william johnson, also happens to be a vlogger. he shows some weird and funny internet videos and comments on them. it's the perfect thing to watch on a hangover day.

i found myself in a huge gay party yesterday. i was there with a friend and it took us a while to notice. "is it me, or are all the guys here very pansy? that hug looks more than friendly. that kiss looks more than friendly. that foreplay looks more than... damn it" it was frustrating cause there were actually some cute guys. then we got bored and left and we froze our asses off on our way home. it was a night of unnecessary drinking, which didn't lead to a lot of fun.

it's so cold and snowy here. while walking around in my white ski jacket feeling like the micheline man, i wish i could go some place warm.

looks like i'm not gonna have the traditional hangover pizza with spinach today, because i'm too lazy to go out right now. i'm sure the pizza guys are worried about me now, they haven't seen me the whole weekend.

i'm going to munich sometime next week. i'm gonna spend christmas there with a friend and her family. i have to buy tickets and study a little before i go. god i haven't done anything in days.

but before all that, i have to take a nap.

zzzz

the don'ts of interaction with girls - a guide for men

2009-12-02T00:30:00.008+01:00

first of all; college humor presents: honest college ad

college humor FTW.

second of all; i wanted to write something here, but i couldn't come up with something new to tell. so i decided to copy & paste a list about guys being weird, which i wrote in my other blog about a year ago. i didn't just leave it at that though, i updated the list. here it goes:

ever since i came here i've been observing a lot of wrong approaches when it comes to guys interacting with girls that they are interested in (update from the future: i still do). so i decided to prepare this handy little guide for future reference. it's all based on real personal experience.

- don't ask a girl "is that the number of the guys you've slept with?" after asking her how many rubber bracelets there are on her arm and getting the answer "34". to be on the safe side, i recommend not asking that question, regardless of the number of bracelets.

- don't tell a girl she is old after finding out she is two years older than you and if you do, don't be surprised if she doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

- don't kiss your forearm while talking to a girl you like. don't kiss your forearm again, while talking to a girl you like. unlike the common assumption, it is very repulsive.

- while hitting on a girl, don't call her a "bad bitch" and expect her to like that. if a girl doesn't want to share her drink with you, that doesn't necessarily mean she is a "bad bitch". don't be surprised if she doesn't like her new nickname and says she will slap you if you don't go away. in that situation, thank your lucky stars she threatened you instead of putting it into action.

- when on a date, don't eat a sandwich with garlic and onions and try to kiss a girl while you're still chewing.

- "hi, my friends just dared me to go to a girl and get her bra. can i have your bra?" is not a good pick up line.

*updates*

- "i thought you were boring, but wow you are a great dancer" is not a compliment. saying that it was a compliment doesn't make it one either.

- it's not ok to correct somebody's grammar while having an important discussion about the relationship

- if you meet someone in a bar and get her number, don't send her a text two weeks later that says: "hey how are you? do you have my sweater? seriously, some of my stuff is missing". why would i have your sweater and what are you trying to say?

- "i would ask for your number, but i'm sure you wouldn't give it to me" doesn't sound as cool and confident as you think.

- you don't want to hit on a friend of a friend at a party, if you're there with your girlfriend. you don't want to hit on girls at parties, if you have a girlfriend. you want to go home and rethink your life.

i love barats and bereta

2009-11-26T21:03:00.004+01:00

they have even funnier videos but i saw this one today and i wanted to share it. check them out. my favorites are "the mantage" and "the douche off".

one of my flatmates and i study in our living room/kitchen all the time, so we call it "the study kitchen" now. our specialties for today are "regression analysis in statistics" and "data processing for a political science project". hmmm yummy.

ladies and gentlemen

2009-11-24T17:11:00.003+01:00

i give you my new boredom busters:

why the fuck do you have a kid?: irresponsible parents and parents to be at their best

lamebook: the lamest stuff on facebook

i have to warn you though; boredom busters can and will keep you from doing other stuff that you should be doing. use them at your own risk.

we had to do a part of some IQ test yesterday during a lecture. looks like some researchers needed subjects. the second part of the test consisted of some pairs of words and we had to find the logical relationships between them. the thing is, i didn't know the meanings of many words (german!!!), so i didn't do well in that area. the test had only 3 parts, so i guess screwing one part up will effect the results in a big way. since i had to state the fact that i had a bachelor's degree while filling out a form about the test, i think my result will be something like "how the hell did she manage to get to college...twice?!"

i got...

2009-11-06T17:36:00.007+01:00

...

i come from a country where there is a majority of muslims, but i haven't been busy with islam until i came to vienna.

i have a pro seminar about gender roles in religions and i have to do a presentation about the gender roles in islam. i also have to talk about islam in general, so i've been reading about things i have forgotten a long time ago.

today i had a lecture about research methods and the professor was talking about a research about the attitudes of christian americans towards muslims. he asked if anybody knew the five pillars of islam. after the people raised their hands one by one and told 4 of the 5 pillars of islam, which i found impressive, he said there was another one left and asked if anybody knew that one. so i raised my hand in hesitation, since speaking publicly in german doesn't make my top 5 of favorite activities, but i thought it would be ok, because i knew a little something about the subject. or did i?

professor: yes?
me: to believe in god and his angels
professor: well actually it's "to believe in god and his prophets". anyway...

i can't believe i got owned in islam by my austrian professor.

looks like i got "the pillars of islam" and "the pillars of belief in islam" confused. that means i have to do more reading about islam in german. oh goodie gumdrops.

supernatural s05e08 opening credits

2009-11-06T16:35:00.004+01:00

for those who don't know the series: it's about two brothers fighting evil supernatural beings (in a serious way, most of the time) and in this episode they get trapped in tv soaps, hence the opening.

that was hands down the funniest episode ever. i laughed out very loud. i hope the neighbors didn't call the police. for those who don't know austria: neighbors call the police when you're loud.

hmmm

2009-11-05T12:45:00.003+01:00

right now i'm reading a 7 page long information about an exam and it's very discouraging. "if you write something like this, i won't evaluate your answer. if you write something like this, you won't get any points. if you answer this kind of a question that way, you might as well shoot yourself" etc etc... it also says that you have to study for at least 30 hours for the exam and if you don't, you shouldn't bother doing the exam. 30 hours for native german speakers means 3824823828 hours for me. oh the joy!

i wonder if i'll ever graduate.

i should stop watching flight of the conchords videos and start studying already.

2009-11-03T02:36:00.006+01:00

i'm hungry, but it's 02:37 in the morning and i'm too lazy to do something about it.

i'm sleepy but i don't wanna go to sleep, cause going to sleep means waking up early for a lecture, half of which i won't understand because it's in german, just like all of my lectures.

there. i just summed my life up for ya.

i've been watching this mtv show called "next". it's probably one of the stupidest things i've ever seen, but it beats studying. there is one girl and 5 guys or vice versa and they go on a date. when they don't like the contestant they say "next" and then the next one comes. guys choose girls based on their breast size and girls... ah i don't know... whatever... it's stupid and staged but it can be entertaining if you like laughing at stupid people and cheesy lines.

today i went to the movies to see a viennale film (vienna film festival). it was called "terrorism considered as one of the fine arts" and it was probably the worst movie i have ever seen. after having suffered for two and a half hours, i left the theater leaving my friends there for another 15 minutes of torture. the visuals were all about the public transportation in vienna (except for a few scenes with a girl who had a mustache) and there was a boring narration which didn't even make any sense most of the time, so it felt like i was listening to an awful audio book while traveling in vienna. but yeah at the end of the day, i was terrorized by the awfulness of this film, so maybe that was the whole point.

i took this picture at a supermarket. so that's clearly what flight of the conchords are talking about:

cosmic flavor

2009-10-12T01:17:00.005+02:00

i'm still ill and coughing, which is kinda the opposite of alive and kicking.

the only intimacy i've had in a while is the one i have with my laptop. it lays on my lap and we watch movies together.

i'm tired of this whole "i feel good about this relationship, oh this could be something... nope he's a freak" cycle.

i have to go to ikea soon but i don't wanna go alone so i keep postponing it.

once i'm done with this cold, i don't wanna see herbal tea for a year or 9.

my favorite song from the new tori amos album is ophelia

u2 announced that they are gonna have a concert in vienna in august 2010. and they started to sell the tickets. i don't get it. why announce a concert which is almost a year later? is this an austrian thing? something about them loving to plan ahead? anyway i gotta get those tickets before they are sold out.

i think i'm gonna start doing a dance course. it's time i did something regularly.

note to self: find out about the upcoming concerts so that you don't kick yourself later on

shovin' buddies

2009-10-10T13:16:00.003+02:00

there is a website called "ijustmadelove.com". people mark the location where they just had sex on the map, along with the positions they had and then they write a comment about it. and right now it says "Server overloaded, too many people are making love right now. But you can still add your marker on the map."

good to know.

so yeah i moved again. it's been one month. i live with an austrian girl and a german girl now. they are such sweethearts. they are both nice and fun. we go out and do stuff together every now and then. last friday when i was out with the german one, i had a near-flashmob experience.and by that, i mean i nearly experienced a flashmob but i actually kinda missed it. a lot of people were doing the beat it routine in a square. i'm so bummed that i just got to see the last 2 seconds of it, but thank eric clapton there is youtube:

oh and this cracked me up today:

family guy 716, everyone. watch it.

lately i've noticed that everyone around me was ill. they were feeling dizzy and coughing their lungs out and all, so i thought "this looks fun, i should give it a go", which is exactly why i should retreat and lie down now.

have a nice weekend. it'll probably be better than mine anyway.

i'm gonna marry you so hard, you'll think it's 1954

2009-09-16T13:53:00.004+02:00

i have a problem with being able to sleep while all the normal people are sleeping. so maybe spending the night at a friend's place, who had to go to bed at a reasonable time and wake up early the next day to go to work, wasn't the best idea.

we watched brüno together - i think it was funny though most of it was staged. the interviews sacha baron cohen did as brüno in the ali g show were funnier cause i think they were real. still, it was pretty funny. i especially loved the part where he went hunting with some rednecks. i'm a fan of awkward pauses.

then my friend went to bed and i took her laptop to the kitchen. i was up all night watching hamish blake videos and choking while trying to laugh silently so that i wouldn't wake people up. i wanna marry him senseless.

hamish blake is a comedian from australia. he has a radio show with fellow comedian andy and they regularly appear on the australian talk show "rove". i discovered him while i was watching videos from the improvisation show "thank god you're here" on youtube. to quote the official website:

"Thank God You're Here is based on a simple premise: get a group of well known performers and make each walk through a door into a scene without any idea of who they are or what they're walking into. It might be an operating theatre and a simple greeting, "Thank God you're here, Doctor. The patient's ready." It may be a Roman dungeon, a boardroom, a starship or a talk show. The only things they can depend on are their abilities to make everything up for the next five minutes and cover their tracks as they do it"

this show also has a uk and a us version. hamish was a guest on the uk version too. it's hard to choose between many of his hilarious performances but here is an example:

and here is another:

after watching videos for hours, i decided that it was time i went to sleep and while i was trying to be extra careful not to wake my friend up, i hit a table, dropped some stuff and because that didn't wake her up, i accidentally sat on her legs thinking it was the empty side of the bed. fun times.

oh by the way, i moved again. that is the topic of another post.

to most men who have been in my life and to the ones who are yet to come

2009-08-21T01:25:00.003+02:00

I wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find.

freak show

2009-08-13T16:25:00.006+02:00

yes it's funny. yes she IS insane and it's good that he found out rather sooner than later. still, there are a few things i don't understand:

* how can anyone fail to make someone understand that they are going away for 2 weeks? how can you manage to put it in a way that is so vague? how come she didn't perceive it when he said "i'm going backpacking in europe for 2 weeks and i'm leaving tomorrow"

* why would anyone go on holidays for 2 whole weeks and not have any communication whatsoever with their girlfriend?? especially if they really love each other like the girl said (confessions of love etc).

i get it, the girl was really crazy and, like i said, he's better off - believe me i have had my fair share of freaks and i still do, so i know... i just don't understand how someone thinks it's pretty normal to have zero contact with their girlfriend/boyfriend - her being insane aside. you let people know when you go abroad and if anyone calls, you don't answer. you communicate by texting. you go to internet cafes and check your emails. believe me, i've been abroad before. and if you care for the person you're with, you feel the necessity to communicate, to find out what they are up to and to let them know how you're doing.

yeah relationships... it's a sour subject.

you know how i like making fun of people, or reading about others doing it?

2009-08-06T22:00:00.007+02:00

emails from crazy people is a hilarious website, where you can see e-mails that crazy people wrote. fortunately, some people are generous and kind enough to share them for the rest of the world to enjoy.
david thorne is a hilarious guy, whom i learned about thanks to the above mentioned website. if i were to choose more adjectives to describe him, i would go with "very intelligent", "bizarre" and "crazy". but i'm not. he is very intelligent though.
i read about this website on the newspaper today and i couldn't help but visit it. ladies and gentlemen, here is another boredom buster: tweeting too hard. it basically makes fun of pretentious douche bags that are on twitter, such as this guy: "228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I'd fuck myself if I were flexible enough"
there is also "look at this fucking hipster" where they make fun of weirdos, most of whom are trying to look hip or something.
you might have heard of photoshop disasters. the name says it all.
i think everybody knows failblog, but i still couldn't help but mention it.
this is a website that demonstrates bad english.

enjoy.

back home

2009-07-28T22:19:00.002+02:00

i'm listening to the new u2 album; no line on the horizon. it's growing on me, which is more than i can say for the new depeche mode album. it's boring.

i'm in istanbul and i still haven't seen all of the people i am supposed to see. i've been staying in a lot. i've often had company with me to watch films together, make funny comments and eat sunflower seeds. i miss doing that in a living room with certain people, when i'm in vienna. i still need to go out though. it's been a while since the last time i went out at night. i'm planning on doing something this saturday. i could see other people i wanna see and i could also use some cheering up.

it's so hot here. i'm so glad i can finally have the "summer experience" again. i've even gone swimming, it was awesome. and i've tanned, so i'm even darker now. i'm gonna be very easy to spot in austria.

in other news, i recieved an email from my flatmate saying she has to move to another city taking all of her stuff, including the ones in my room, like the bed i sleep on. she says she'll be back in her apartment every now and then and that i can stay if i want. since i was paying rent for a place with furniture, i don't wanna keep paying that rent and buy a lot of stuff for the apartment. i wanna find another place and move out, hoping that i can find some people i can get along better with.

oh, by the way:

"U2 Tickets in Vienna, Austria Date: 07-08-2009". i'll still be in istanbul. great.

nada surf

2009-07-08T00:41:00.001+02:00

unfortunately, this is not a joke

2009-07-07T15:37:00.001+02:00

sonniXinsane (3 hours ago)

you guys are the WORST BAND EVER. ever. in history. i'm not joking. i will make a fucking time machine to prove my point. YOU NEED TO DIE FOR MUSIC TO LIVE.

haha couldn't agree more. good job getting freaky though.

it's annoying to answer errors with errors

2009-07-05T18:03:00.005+02:00

oh dear facebook, what happened to you? what happened to us? i thought we were having a great time checking out applications and looking at pictures. i thought we had a connection... i don't even know you anymore.

and where the hell are my glasses?! why can't i find anything? how am i supposed to find true love when i can't even find my glasses in my tiny apartment?

ok yes i admit it, i'm a little bored. and insanely untidy.

dear neighbor who lives upstairs, thank you very much for shaking off the dust on your carpet out of your window. the piles of dirt and dust look enchanting on my window sill.

i'm so happy my roommate isn't here to see all this mess. i gotta do a huge cleaning before she comes back from her trip.

i'm going back to turkey next week. i'm gonna stay for a month and a half. until then, looks like i have nothing to declare.

beauty habits men wish you'd skip

2009-06-11T10:35:00.003+02:00

let's see what msn has to say to us today:

"six beauty habits men wish you'd skip
(...) Here's a list of things you can drop from your routine. We won't notice, I promise, and we'd much rather have the extra time in bed with you in the morning."

this is an article that some jack guy wrote. ok some of them make sense, but i wanna mention the ones that don't make sense.

Living in heels

Wearing painful stilettos to appear taller wins no points with guys, because hardly any of us notice height. If you asked me how tall any one of the women I've dated in my life was, all I could tell you with certainty is that she was "lady height." Want my best guess? I'd say between five and six feet. But, seriously, I have no idea.

it's not all about the height, jack. stilettos are more about sex appeal and you do notice them, even if you don't realize that you notice them. besides, it has nothing to do with the extra time in bed.

Obsessive leg shaving

When you consider all the places where guys can sprout hair, the last thing you should worry about is a little shin stubble. Men are aware that unless you're on round-the-clock guard, leg hair will return. It's OK, we can handle it.

jack, jack, jack... no you can't handle it. let's not fool ourselves to sound cool and different.

Wake-up makeup

Your lip gloss is long gone, your hair is a nest, your eyes are puffy? Sweet. Seeing you that way reminds us we did something last night that mussed your perfect look. Something we liked. Something, in fact, we're hoping we can do again...

uum i hate to break it to you jack, but those things happen every morning we wake up, even if you haven't done anything the night before. when we're alone it's okay, but when there is company, we don't like them to think "oh my god she's so ugly in the morning". i like your point of view, though. every guy should internalize this. yeah it's the naughty action that makes our eyes puffy in the morning. yeah yeah. i like that.

moving to a new place

2009-06-08T00:14:00.005+02:00

so i moved. i live in a shared flat again, this time with a girl. she seems nice, though i haven't seen much of her yet. she went away for work, she's coming next week.

and yes, carrying all of my stuff down 4 stories without having an elevator was a bitch, but fortunately i had help.

i used these boxes to carry my stuff:

the picture of an evil man carrying a box to a truck which is as big as himself is priceless. i don't know what that "x" is about.

there is a super fun calender on the toilet wall with hilarious jokes and fun facts, such as:

fun fact:
children in swimming pool! push a plastic ball into the water. when you let it go, it will bounce up. now try to catch it. (i don't know how children in swimming pool will get their hands on this super cool calender, but that sure is a very original tip. thanks, calender!)

joke:
-mr waiter! the schnitzel you served me is smaller than a 10 euro banknote!
- yeah cause it costs only 8 euros.

get it?? it costs less than 10 euros, so it's okay... HAHAHAHA... oh my god... i swear i'm not making this up, i'm just translating it.

yeah i love my new place. seriously though, i do.

raaaiiiiiin

2009-05-14T14:31:00.004+02:00

it's rainy and yucky outside. i don't wanna go out. i guess i'm gonna try and read some texts online today. genetics, chromosomes and shit. yippiiieeee...

i love jason mraz. i've been listening to his songs all day long in the past few days, especially "butterfly" and "shy that way". i would kill to go to a jason mraz concert now.

things i have to do today:

-tidy the room
-wash the dishes
-do the laundry
-study genetics
-do some translation for a friend (if i have the time)

things i want to do today:

-nothing
-nothing
-see above

this is a great website for watching family guy or south park episodes online. especially when you have stuff to do and you wanna avoid them.

right. gotta go start my day already.

things that happened

2009-05-10T04:03:00.005+02:00

a lot of things happened.

i finally passed my entrance exams and started studying here. (YAAAY!!). i've been struggling with human genetics in the past weeks. it's a very clever idea to start the lectures before the entrance exams, so that the students who pass them and start studying can have a whole lot of shit catch up with. really clever.

i've been looking for a new flat, though i kinda neglected that recently. and i haven't heard from the two people whose flats i've seen. yay.

i met someone out of the blue. we're together now. he makes me so happy and i'm scared cause i don't wanna get fucked up anytime soon. he is a german guy who studies philosophy and works in a bar. after having met 38743847 freaks in this city, i hope he stands somewhere in between the limits of normal. i really don't have the nerves to deal with another freak in my private life anymore. it's looking good so far. a friend of mine said "your last boyfriend turned out to be a freak, who happened to be an asshole at the same time. what are the chances that you've met someone exactly like that?" oh you have no idea!

we have a new flatmate now: a guy from colombia who studies music. i haven't had the chance to get to know him well but he seems okay.

my new boyfriend insisted on seeing my flat and got more and more curious every time i said "why don't we just hang out at your place? my room is very small and messy." after finally seeing it, he doesn't mention going to my place anymore. i really really need to move out. this room is killing me.

advantages of having a german boyfriend: my german is improving faster than ever.
disadvantages of having a german boyfriend: having to speak german, thus not being able to say everything i want to say and not understanding some of the things he says while fearing that he is going to get sick of having to explain things to me, especially when he uses unfamiliar words while explaining and has to explain them too.

ok that's it. i'm tired and i'm going to bed. night!

try as they might, no one's immune to misfiring and acting on the wrong clues

2009-04-19T07:01:00.006+02:00

sometimes when i get drunk and go to bed, i wake up at the strangest times of the day... especially if i have eaten the whole mc donalds not long before. this is one of those times. i would like to dedicate this moment to my friend, who just asked me what i was doing and went back to sleep in a matter of nanoseconds.

last night i was hanging out with the above mentioned friend and her friends in an open-air area. there were groups of people (hippies mostly) who were listening to the same music using joint headphones and dancing like crazy. they were having a ball. we thought they looked stupid cause we couldn't hear the music. wow, how philosophical... nah they were just plain stupid.

yesterday, while walking around the street where my friend's dorm is, we got stopped by the austrian police for intending to walk across the street in a wrong way. don't ask, i don't get it either. as a result, they wanted to see our student IDs, they made phone calls to check if they were legit, asked for our residence addresses and made other calls to check if that information was correct, while keeping us waiting on the sidewalk. my friend asked if that was really necessary and said they were doing it just because we were foreigners. they got defensive but at least they kept it cool and polite, which is something that the turkish police lack most of the time. i thought they did it because we were obviously foreigners and the fact that there was a lot of prostitution going on on that street, which is usually done by illegal foreigners, played an important role in the chain of events. i kept my thoughts to myself.

who in their right mind would build a dorm in such a neighborhood anyway?

i was at an art exhibition yesterday. while looking at some hardcore abstract paintings and trying to interpretate the deepest repressed fears and desires of the artist based on his works, i wondered if he actually just threw some paint on a canvas spontaneously to mess with people's heads and... well... to earn money. i don't wanna be superficial, but you never know. it's ok to be a little sceptic.

oh my god life is too contradictive for my precious soul!!! i'd better try and go back to sleep.

boring facts (yawn)

2009-04-17T00:35:00.006+02:00

i really like susanne vega.

looking for an apartment is tiring. moving out and moving in will be even more tiring. carrying my stuff down the stairs will be a nightmare.

i like lying down on the grass in parks, though i'm scared of ticks.

i like reading a book in a cafe or in a park, then looking around for a while and continuing reading.

i like little blond children who are well behaved and not screaming.

i have never seen u2 live and i'm looking forward to the day when i will.

i miss my brother, who lives in istanbul.

right now i'm waiting for the nailpolish to dry so that i can go to bed.

i'll be back with less boring stuff sometime.

please please tell me now, is there something i should know?

2009-04-07T03:21:00.000+02:00

actually i didn't wanna go home just yet. i was having fun when we were sitting with the people who were playing the guitar. then this stupid guy came and suggested we sit over there cause it's more comfortable - supposedly. i had to follow my friends as they moved "over there". then it all got boring. all of a sudden. this guy was talking to one of the girls about things that i wasn't interested in while me and my friend were sitting there silently. after a while we all left. i was happy when i was singing along with the people. i love this whole summer spirit. hanging outside, watching people etc.

so me and my friends parted ways to go home. i passed by this irish pub where i was earlier on with my flatmates. i went there for the first time tonight and i really liked it. it's so close to where i live, it's unbelievable. it reminded me of the people in "how i met your mother" and how they always hang out at the bar, which is right under ted's apartment. anyway... as i was passing by, i wanted to go in. but then again i didn't want to go to a pub alone. i didn't want to take attention. i thought i could just swing by, have a beer, chat with the bartender (who is 90% irish so yay! go english language!) and then go home. but i couldn't dare. i stood in front of the pub for a few seconds and listened to the familiar sound of people having fun. i heard some german but i couldn't make out what it was. i went home. i tiptoed inside the flat so that my roommates wouldn't wake up. i felt like going to that pub more often cause it definitely had a vibe of a place where you always go with your friends and hang around for 383 hours, where the owners or the bartenders know you, where you are a regular, where you actually CAN drop by to have a beer and a little chat before you go home, even if you're alone. but, for that, you need friends who would like to go to that specific bar/pub with you, before you can go there alone - orelse it would feel weird to go there by yourself. actually it shouldn't but in my case it would.

blah blah blah... the bottom line is... i've been drinking and i wanted to keep drinking but maybe it's for the best that i didn't. as you can see, i'm not sober.

oh by the way, happy no relationship anniversary to me.

i'm tired of being alone. all the people i meet here are either weird or taken. or both.

i'd better go to sleep. Zzzzzz...

more genius ads

2009-04-06T01:06:00.001+02:00

i think somebody confuses making out with undressing and that kinda confusion could lead to a lot of misunderstandings, especially at the movies.

"i love making out at the movies, so i unzipped my skirt. that's supposed to make me an interesting person"

does this message make sense? didn't think so. why didn't they just write "join this site and maybe you can get laid at some point"? that would be one clear message.

about he's just not that into you the movie

2009-03-29T22:01:00.000+02:00

here are some romantic comedy cliches that are NOT in the movie:

HILARIOUS.

bradley cooper rules.

he's just not that into you

2009-03-29T14:52:00.000+02:00

i watched this film called "he's just not that into you" and i loved it. it's inspired from the book with the same title, which was written by greg behrendt and liz tuccillo, the first one being one of the consultants and the other one being one of the writers of sex and the city.

both the film and the book is about how guys act when they're just not that into someone and how girls always find excuses for their behavior, trying to figure out why they do the things they do, when the answer is actually pretty clear.

i loved the film so much that i found the book online (after several hours of searching) and read it immediately. the book has this Q&A concept, where girls tell greg things about the guys they are dating and ask if it's normal, or if there can't be a good explanation and greg answers in a pretty amusing way, stating stone cold facts about a man and what's in his mind. the film is not a direct adaption of the book. i read the book right after i watched the film.

some of the things greg says are exactly what i've been telling my girl friends for 729 years. some of the things he says are very simple and yet ignorable when you're in that situation. i've also done some of the mistakes they mention in the book (not the incredibly stupid ones but the more common ones) and i'm planning on not doing them anymore.

here, have some quotes from the book. go on.

"a man would rather be trampled by elephants that are on fire than tell you that he's not into you"
100% of guys polled said 'a fear of intimacy' has never stopped them from getting into a relationship. one guy even marked, "fear of intimacy is an urban myth". another said "that's just what we say to girls when we're just not into them"
you already have one asshole. you don't need another. (this one is my favorite)

the book can be found here to read online for free. yay.

aaaaand

here's the trailer of the film.

one of the stupidest ads ever

2009-03-22T20:42:00.000+01:00

so which one of these amazingly interesting people are we supposed to be looking forward to meeting? the girl who talks in her sleep, or the guy that finds it cute? and what's interesting about any of that? "it's so interesting when he farts under the covers. thank you fastcupid!"

house warming

2009-03-22T00:52:00.000+01:00

i was at a house warming party last night. there was this girl who just couldn't stop talking about herself and how her country was founded although nobody asked about it. she also liked interrupting a lot. an interrupter who loves flattering herself - great combo. at some point, she suggested that she spoke english like it was her mother tongue and that her accent was very american. it was very ironic for someone to say that while butchering the language and having the thickest accent ever. when she suggested that her german was excellent, my friend started speaking german, since there was a majority of german speakers in the room, and she went to another room to bore different people for a change. yay.

it was a nice party and i had a lot of fun socializing with a lot of different people, while making comments about them with my friend in turkish so that they wouldn't understand. at around 3:30 am the police crashed the party and demanded everyone leave (well at least it was 3:30 cause it could have been 11 pm as well). apparently we were being loud and a neighbor called the cops. that's something i never understand about austria; nobody comes and says "could you please keep it down", they just call the police instead. the police waited there until everyone had left the building, impatiently and serious as hell, like the well-being of the world depended on it. they later on came down and ordered us to move along and said we couldn't stand on the street, while we were discussing how to get home. once again, they rescued the world from some horrible young people, who were shamelessly having fun on a friday night. go austrian police!

the moment of truth

2009-03-19T20:40:00.000+01:00

i've been accidentally hitting things and hurting myself in this messy cave that i call my room. yesterday i managed to cut my finger with a lamp. i don't know how i managed to do that. i refuse to do something about this mess till my exams are over. the first one is tomorrow. the next one is next week. if i can pass them then i can finally start doing further studies here. if i can't pass them, i'm gonna have to wait for another 6 months to take the next ones. i'm trying not to think about it at the moment. it works big time.

hopefully soon i'll have something else to talk about. something interesting, even.

i have only one friend here who is my age. the other ones are all younger. i made a new friend who studies psychology. turns out she's 19. nineteen!! she doesn't look 19 either, i though she would be 2 years younger or something. i feel so old. i was saying something to her the other day and i went "yeah only some teenager would... uuum... i mean... what's that over there?"

i don't know how i'm gonna be able to sleep tonight. it's like the university exam, all over again.

let me watch some friends episodes

it's a kind of magic

2009-03-13T12:56:00.000+01:00

i overslept. again.

i'm going to the library. again.

it's cold and windy and it's going to rain. again.

awight guvna.

if you're not in love, stay where you are

2009-03-11T21:11:00.001+01:00

i want to know why some people take their shoes off at the library. is it because they want to make themselves at home? but it looks stupid!

i asked some people, who have already passed the exam i'm studying for, if they have any tips for me. one of them suggested i find the questions and memorize the answers. NOW THAT'S AN IDEA! although the possibility of me marrying jensen ackles is higher than that of me finding those questions. pfff...

our shower is broken. the water goes from boiling hot to ice cold and sticks with ice cold. i had a shower at a friend's today, which reminded me of an episode of coupling, the series. seriously though, this whole shower situation is so fucked up. the landlord won't pay for a plumber and my flatmates want him to pay for it. me, i just wanna be able to shower.

i'm tired.

i left my brains at the library

2009-03-09T22:23:00.000+01:00

the other day when i was leaving the library, it was raining and the floor was slippery. as i was going down the stairs, i remember thinking "it would suck so much if i fell down the stairs, hit my head, had a concussion and forgot all the things i've been studying." it's interesting that i didn't think "it would suck so much if i fell down the stairs and smashed my brains". like freud once said: "hmmm..."

when you're frustrated about your life, read this: http://www.fmylife.com/.

here's a nice entry from the above mentioned website:

"Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML"

well i don't think she should worry about being the maid of honor anymore. the future bride should call "cheaters caught on act" as soon as possible.

hello

2009-03-09T13:14:00.000+01:00

i used to write in turkish and english in my first blog but then i decided to separate them. i'll write in english here and turkish in the other one. i don't think the content will be exactly the same, but the general idea is the same: random stuff, general guff, whatever you call it.

right now i'm trying to persuade myself to go to the library. i will do it at some point but the earlier the better. i'm getting there... almost. i have to study for these two big exams. if i pass them then i can start doing a masters program in psychology here in austria. if i can't pass them, then i'm fucked. i don't have a plan b yet but i don't wanna go back to turkey without having something accomplished here.

time to get going.