me: you're in a weird mood tonight, what's going on with you?
me: aw come on! you're not your regular self! what happened, tell me!
friend: well... okay... something happened and i only found out today. it has something to do with semen.
me: semen?! what do you... wait what?! OH MY GOD YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT! she is pregnant, isn't she? oh my god you're gonna become a dad!!!
friend: no, you wally, not semen. SIEMENS. i got fired.