thanks to this guy, whose nickname is youareworthless, i know the truth about men. i'd been compromising on some basics by wasting my time with people, who didn't tell me about their desire to see me with very little on before having met me. so all you moisturizing, chest waxing, cheating bastards out there: i'm not buying it! i've been warned. now, step away from my best friend, thankyouverymuch.
after a while i kinda got distracted from the actual purpose of the website and just started looking at random profiles and making fun of them. if there are any guys out there, who are on an online dating website and reading this, here is what a girl thinks when she sees this kind of stuff on your profile. (*whispers* you're welcome.)
- "handsome, intelligent guy from [insert city name here]": why do you feel the necessity to write that you're handsome? it's not really for you to decide, now, is it? we can all see the photos, dude. calling yourself handsome is not gonna make you any more handsome than you appear to be in the photos. same goes for intelligent. i'm not gonna take your word for it.
- "things i can't live without: fun, friends, internet, sex ;)))" and "i'm really good at sex ;)))": alright alright i get it, you masturbate multiple times a day. i think some guys think mentioning sex multiple times on their profiles make them sexy. like i explained before, mentioning something on your profile does not necessarily mean you have that as an attribute. ok, so you like sex, but so does everyone else. i bet you can't live without food either. the fact that you felt the necessity to write you're good at sex gives me the impression that the truth is far from it. also, "sex ;)))" sounds needy. very.very.needy. aaaaand it gives me the impression that your eyes are twitching due to the lack of it. just so you know.
- a dissertation about your crazy and artistic personality (23982389274 words): tl;dr. how smug are you? i'm talking a description about one's personality that literally goes on for pages here. "i'm a very creative guy who lives his emotions to the fullest and i'm awesome and i'm sometimes indecisive, but it depends on my mood, there are times when i'm moody but decisive and i always get what i want, and i can be mean sometimes, but at least i'm honest and i only like singing when it's raining, so if you're the kind of girl who likes throwing pasta at people while watching the sunset, you should definitely message me, but keep in mind that i can react differently in different situations and..." oh my god, get over yourself.
- half naked photo showing off abs or just a photo of the abs, taken in front of a mirror at home: nothing says "i work out a lot, but i still have trouble picking up women in bars, so i'll try my luck here and i should by no means be taken seriously " like this one.
- "looking for: long term dating, short term dating, casual sex": first of all, what is "short term dating" and why would anyone look for that on a dating website? if this is what you kids call "nothing serious, no strings attached kind of thing" these days, how is it any different than "casual sex"? guys, i have bad news: i don't think girls go online looking for casual sex. they wouldn't bother looking for people online, reading profiles, so that they can find a one night stand, because it's not as difficult to find that as you may think.
this is like reading a horror book, where romance get killed with multiple stab wounds on the chest, but at least i'm having fun.