i got...

...

i come from a country where there is a majority of muslims, but i haven't been busy with islam until i came to vienna.

i have a pro seminar about gender roles in religions and i have to do a presentation about the gender roles in islam. i also have to talk about islam in general, so i've been reading about things i have forgotten a long time ago.

today i had a lecture about research methods and the professor was talking about a research about the attitudes of christian americans towards muslims. he asked if anybody knew the five pillars of islam. after the people raised their hands one by one and told 4 of the 5 pillars of islam, which i found impressive, he said there was another one left and asked if anybody knew that one. so i raised my hand in hesitation, since speaking publicly in german doesn't make my top 5 of favorite activities, but i thought it would be ok, because i knew a little something about the subject. or did i?

professor: yes?
me: to believe in god and his angels
professor: well actually it's "to believe in god and his prophets". anyway...

i can't believe i got owned in islam by my austrian professor.

looks like i got "the pillars of islam" and "the pillars of belief in islam" confused. that means i have to do more reading about islam in german. yaaaay!

supernatural s05e08 opening credits

for those who don't know the series: it's about two brothers fighting evil supernatural beings (in a serious way, most of the time) and in this episode they get trapped in tv soaps, hence the opening.

that was hands down the funniest episode ever. i laughed out very loud. i hope the neighbors didn't call the police. for those who don't know austria: neighbors call the police when you're loud.

hmmm

right now i'm reading a 7 page long information about an exam and it's very discouraging. "if you write something like this, i won't evaluate your answer. if you write something like this, you won't get any points. if you answer this kind of a question that way, you might as well shoot yourself" etc etc... it also says that you have to study for at least 30 hours for the exam and if you don't, you shouldn't bother doing the exam. 30 hours for native german speakers means 3824823828 hours for me. oh the joy!

i wonder if i'll ever graduate.

i should stop watching flight of the conchords videos and start studying already.

i'm hungry, but it's 02:37 in the morning and i'm too lazy to do something about it.

i'm sleepy but i don't wanna go to sleep, cause going to sleep means waking up early for a lecture, half of which i won't understand because it's in german, just like all of my lectures.

there. i just summed my life up for ya.

i've been watching this mtv show called "next". it's probably one of the stupidest things i've ever seen, but it beats studying. there is one girl and 5 guys or vice versa and they go on a date. when they don't like the contestant they say "next" and then the next one comes. guys choose girls based on their breast size and girls... ah i don't know... whatever... it's stupid and staged but it can be entertaining if you like laughing at stupid people and cheesy lines.

today i went to the movies to see a viennale film (vienna film festival). it was called "terrorism considered as one of the fine arts" and it was probably the worst movie i have ever seen. after having suffered for two and a half hours, i left the theater leaving my friends there for another 15 minutes of torture. the visuals were all about the public transportation in vienna (except for a few scenes with a girl who had a mustache) and there was a boring narration which didn't even make any sense most of the time, so it felt like i was listening to an awful audio book while traveling in vienna. but yeah at the end of the day, i was terrorized by the awfulness of this film, so maybe that was the whole point.

i took this picture at a supermarket. so that's clearly what flight of the conchords are talking about:

cosmic flavor

i'm still ill and coughing, which is kinda the opposite of alive and kicking.

the only intimacy i've had in a while is the one i have with my laptop. it lays on my lap and we watch movies together.

i'm tired of this whole "i feel good about this relationship, oh this could be something... nope he's a freak" cycle.

i have to go to ikea soon but i don't wanna go alone so i keep postponing it.

once i'm done with this cold, i don't wanna see herbal tea for a year or 9.

my favorite song from the new tori amos album is ophelia

u2 announced that they are gonna have a concert in vienna in august 2010. and they started to sell the tickets. i don't get it. why announce a concert which is almost a year later? is this an austrian thing? something about them loving to plan ahead? anyway i gotta get those tickets before they are sold out.

i think i'm gonna start doing a dance course. it's time i did something regularly.

note to self: find out about the upcoming concerts so that you don't kick yourself later on

shovin' buddies

there is a website called "ijustmadelove.com". people mark the location where they just had sex on the map, along with the positions they had and then they write a comment about it. and right now it says "Server overloaded, too many people are making love right now. But you can still add your marker on the map."

good to know.

so yeah i moved again. it's been one month. i live with an austrian girl and a german girl now. they are such sweethearts. they are both nice and fun. we go out and do stuff together every now and then. last friday when i was out with the german one, i had a near-flashmob experience.and by that, i mean i nearly experienced a flashmob but i actually kinda missed it. a lot of people were doing the beat it routine in a square. i'm so bummed that i just got to see the last 2 seconds of it, but thank eric clapton there is youtube:




oh and this cracked me up today:




family guy 716, everyone. watch it.

lately i've noticed that everyone around me was ill. they were feeling dizzy and coughing their lungs out and all, so i thought "this looks fun, i should give it a go", which is exactly why i should retreat and lie down now.

have a nice weekend. it'll probably be better than mine anyway.

i'm gonna marry you so hard, you'll think it's 1954

i have a problem with being able to sleep while all the normal people are sleeping. so maybe spending the night at a friend's place, who had to go to bed at a reasonable time and wake up early the next day to go to work, wasn't the best idea.

we watched brüno together - i think it was funny though most of it was staged. the interviews sacha baron cohen did as brüno in the ali g show were funnier cause i think they were real. still, it was pretty funny. i especially loved the part where he went hunting with some rednecks. i'm a fan of awkward pauses.

then my friend went to bed and i took her laptop to the kitchen. i was up all night watching hamish blake videos and choking while trying to laugh silently so that i wouldn't wake people up. i wanna marry him senseless.

hamish blake is a comedian from australia. he has a radio show with fellow comedian andy and they regularly appear on the australian talk show "rove". i discovered him while i was watching videos from the improvisation show "thank god you're here" on youtube. to quote the official website:

"Thank God You're Here is based on a simple premise: get a group of well known performers and make each walk through a door into a scene without any idea of who they are or what they're walking into. It might be an operating theatre and a simple greeting, "Thank God you're here, Doctor. The patient's ready." It may be a Roman dungeon, a boardroom, a starship or a talk show. The only things they can depend on are their abilities to make everything up for the next five minutes and cover their tracks as they do it"

this show also has a uk and a us version. hamish was a guest on the uk version too. it's hard to choose between many of his hilarious performances but here is an example:



and here is another:



after watching videos for hours, i decided that it was time i went to sleep and while i was trying to be extra careful not to wake my friend up, i hit a table, dropped some stuff and because that didn't wake her up, i accidentally sat on her legs thinking it was the empty side of the bed. fun times.

oh by the way, i moved again. that is the topic of another post.

to most men who have been in my life and to the ones who are yet to come

I wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find.

freak show

yes it's funny. yes she IS insane and it's good that he found out rather sooner than later. still, there are a few things i don't understand:

* how can anyone fail to make someone understand that they are going away for 2 weeks? how can you manage to put it in a way that is so vague? how come she didn't perceive it when he said "i'm going backpacking in europe for 2 weeks and i'm leaving tomorrow"

* why would anyone go on holidays for 2 whole weeks and not have any communication whatsoever with their girlfriend?? especially if they really love each other like the girl said (confessions of love etc).


i get it, the girl was really crazy and, like i said, he's better off - believe me i have had my fair share of freaks and i still do, so i know... i just don't understand how someone thinks it's pretty normal to have zero contact with their girlfriend/boyfriend - her being insane aside. you let people know when you go abroad and if anyone calls, you don't answer. you communicate by texting. you go to internet cafes and check your emails. believe me, i've been abroad before. and if you care for the person you're with, you feel the necessity to communicate, to find out what they are up to and to let them know how you're doing.

yeah relationships... it's a sour subject.

you know how i like making fun of people, or reading about others doing it?

• emails from crazy people is a hilarious website, where you can see e-mails that crazy people wrote. fortunately, some people are generous and kind enough to share them for the rest of the world to enjoy.
  
  
• david thorne is a hilarious guy, whom i learned about thanks to the above mentioned website. if i were to choose more adjectives to describe him, i would go with "very intelligent", "bizarre" and "crazy". but i'm not. he is very intelligent though.
  
  
• i read about this website on the newspaper today and i couldn't help but visit it. ladies and gentlemen, here is another boredom buster: tweeting too hard. it basically makes fun of pretentious douche bags that are on twitter, such as this guy: "228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I'd fuck myself if I were flexible enough"
  
  
• there is also "look at this fucking hipster" where they make fun of weirdos, most of whom are trying to look hip or something.
  
  
• you might have heard of photoshop disasters. the name says it all.
  
  
• i think everybody knows failblog, but i still couldn't help but mention it.
  
  
• this is a website that demonstrates bad english.

enjoy.

back home

i'm listening to the new u2 album; no line on the horizon. it's growing on me, which is more than i can say for the new depeche mode album. it's boring.

i'm in istanbul and i still haven't seen all of the people i am supposed to see. i've been staying in a lot. i've often had company with me to watch films together, make funny comments and eat sunflower seeds. i miss doing that in a living room with certain people, when i'm in vienna. i still need to go out though. it's been a while since the last time i went out at night. i'm planning on doing something this saturday. i could see other people i wanna see and i could also use some cheering up.

it's so hot here. i'm so glad i can finally have the "summer experience" again. i've even gone swimming, it was awesome. and i've tanned, so i'm even darker now. i'm gonna be very easy to spot in austria.

in other news, i recieved an email from my flatmate saying she has to move to another city taking all of her stuff, including the ones in my room, like the bed i sleep on. she says she'll be back in her apartment every now and then and that i can stay if i want. since i was paying rent for a place with furniture, i don't wanna keep paying that rent and buy a lot of stuff for the apartment. i wanna find another place and move out, hoping that i can find some people i can get along better with.

oh, by the way:

"U2 Tickets in Vienna, Austria Date: 07-08-2009". i'll still be in istanbul. great.

nada surf

unfortunately, this is not a joke

sonniXinsane (3 hours ago)

Marked as spam

you guys are the WORST BAND EVER. ever. in history. i'm not joking. i will make a fucking time machine to prove my point. YOU NEED TO DIE FOR MUSIC TO LIVE.


haha couldn't agree more. good job getting freaky though.

it's annoying to answer errors with errors

oh dear facebook, what happened to you? what happened to us? i thought we were having a great time checking out applications and looking at pictures. i thought we had a connection... i don't even know you anymore.

and where the hell are my glasses?! why can't i find anything? how am i supposed to find true love when i can't even find my glasses in my tiny apartment?

ok yes i admit it, i'm a little bored. and insanely untidy.

dear neighbor who lives upstairs, thank you very much for shaking off the dust on your carpet out of your window. the piles of dirt and dust look enchanting on my window sill.

i'm so happy my roommate isn't here to see all this mess. i gotta do a huge cleaning before she comes back from her trip.

i'm going back to turkey next week. i'm gonna stay for a month and a half. until then, looks like i have nothing to declare.

beauty habits men wish you'd skip

let's see what msn has to say to us today:

"six beauty habits men wish you'd skip
(...) Here's a list of things you can drop from your routine. We won't notice, I promise, and we'd much rather have the extra time in bed with you in the morning."

this is an article that some jack guy wrote. ok some of them make sense, but i wanna mention the ones that don't make sense.

Living in heels

Wearing painful stilettos to appear taller wins no points with guys, because hardly any of us notice height. If you asked me how tall any one of the women I've dated in my life was, all I could tell you with certainty is that she was "lady height." Want my best guess? I'd say between five and six feet. But, seriously, I have no idea.

it's not all about the height, jack. stilettos are more about sex appeal and you do notice them, even if you don't realize that you notice them. besides, it has nothing to do with the extra time in bed.

Obsessive leg shaving

When you consider all the places where guys can sprout hair, the last thing you should worry about is a little shin stubble. Men are aware that unless you're on round-the-clock guard, leg hair will return. It's OK, we can handle it.

jack, jack, jack... no you can't handle it. let's not fool ourselves to sound cool and different.

Wake-up makeup

Your lip gloss is long gone, your hair is a nest, your eyes are puffy? Sweet. Seeing you that way reminds us we did something last night that mussed your perfect look. Something we liked. Something, in fact, we're hoping we can do again...

uum i hate to break it to you jack, but those things happen every morning we wake up, even if you haven't done anything the night before. when we're alone it's okay, but when there is company, we don't like them to think "oh my god she's so ugly in the morning". i like your point of view, though. every guy should internalize this. yeah it's the naughty action that makes our eyes puffy in the morning. yeah yeah. i like that.

moving to a new place

so i moved. i live in a shared flat again, this time with a girl. she seems nice, though i haven't seen much of her yet. she went away for work, she's coming next week.

and yes, carrying all of my stuff down 4 stories without having an elevator was a bitch, but fortunately i had help.

i used these boxes to carry my stuff:



the picture of an evil man carrying a box to a truck which is as big as himself is priceless. i don't know what that "x" is about.


there is a super fun calender on the toilet wall with hilarious jokes and fun facts, such as:

fun fact:
children in swimming pool! push a plastic ball into the water. when you let it go, it will bounce up. now try to catch it. (i don't know how children in swimming pool will get their hands on this super cool calender, but that sure is a very original tip. thanks, calender!)

joke:
-mr waiter! the schnitzel you served me is smaller than a 10 euro banknote!
- yeah cause it costs only 8 euros.



get it?? it costs less than 10 euros, so it's okay... HAHAHAHA... oh my god... i swear i'm not making this up, i'm just translating it.

yeah i love my new place. seriously though, i do.

raaaiiiiiin

it's rainy and yucky outside. i don't wanna go out. i guess i'm gonna try and read some texts online today. genetics, chromosomes and shit. yippiiieeee...

i love jason mraz. i've been listening to his songs all day long in the past few days, especially "butterfly" and "shy that way". i would kill to go to a jason mraz concert now.

things i have to do today:

-tidy the room
-wash the dishes
-do the laundry
-study genetics
-do some translation for a friend (if i have the time)

things i want to do today:

-nothing
-nothing
-see above


this is a great website for watching family guy or south park episodes online. especially when you have stuff to do and you wanna avoid them.

right. gotta go start my day already.

things that happened

a lot of things happened.

i finally passed my entrance exams and started studying here. (YAAAY!!). i've been struggling with human genetics in the past weeks. it's a very clever idea to start the lectures before the entrance exams, so that the students who pass them and start studying can have a whole lot of shit catch up with. really clever.

i've been looking for a new flat, though i kinda neglected that recently. and i haven't heard from the two people whose flats i've seen. yay.

i met someone out of the blue. we're together now. he makes me so happy and i'm scared cause i don't wanna get fucked up anytime soon. he is a german guy who studies philosophy and works in a bar. after having met 38743847 freaks in this city, i hope he stands somewhere in between the limits of normal. i really don't have the nerves to deal with another freak in my private life anymore. it's looking good so far. a friend of mine said "your last boyfriend turned out to be a freak, who happened to be an asshole at the same time. what are the chances that you've met someone exactly like that?" oh you have no idea!

we have a new flatmate now: a guy from colombia who studies music. i haven't had the chance to get to know him well but he seems okay.

my new boyfriend insisted on seeing my flat and got more and more curious every time i said "why don't we just hang out at your place? my room is very small and messy." after finally seeing it, he doesn't mention going to my place anymore. i really really need to move out. this room is killing me.

advantages of having a german boyfriend: my german is improving faster than ever.
disadvantages of having a german boyfriend: having to speak german, thus not being able to say everything i want to say and not understanding some of the things he says while fearing that he is going to get sick of having to explain things to me, especially when he uses unfamiliar words while explaining and has to explain them too.

ok that's it. i'm tired and i'm going to bed. night!

try as they might, no one's immune to misfiring and acting on the wrong clues

sometimes when i get drunk and go to bed, i wake up at the strangest times of the day... especially if i have eaten the whole mc donalds not long before. this is one of those times. i would like to dedicate this moment to my friend, who just asked me what i was doing and went back to sleep in a matter of nanoseconds.

last night i was hanging out with the above mentioned friend and her friends in an open-air area. there were groups of people (hippies mostly) who were listening to the same music using joint headphones and dancing like crazy. they were having a ball. we thought they looked stupid cause we couldn't hear the music. wow, how philosophical... nah they were just plain stupid.

yesterday, while walking around the street where my friend's dorm is, we got stopped by the austrian police for intending to walk across the street in a wrong way. don't ask, i don't get it either. as a result, they wanted to see our student IDs, they made phone calls to check if they were legit, asked for our residence addresses and made other calls to check if that information was correct, while keeping us waiting on the sidewalk. my friend asked if that was really necessary and said they were doing it just because we were foreigners. they got defensive but at least they kept it cool and polite, which is something that the turkish police lack most of the time. i thought they did it because we were obviously foreigners and the fact that there was a lot of prostitution going on on that street, which is usually done by illegal foreigners, played an important role in the chain of events. i kept my thoughts to myself.

who in their right mind would build a dorm in such a neighborhood anyway?

i was at an art exhibition yesterday. while looking at some hardcore abstract paintings and trying to interpretate the deepest repressed fears and desires of the artist based on his works, i wondered if he actually just threw some paint on a canvas spontaneously to mess with people's heads and... well... to earn money. i don't wanna be superficial, but you never know. it's ok to be a little sceptic.

oh my god life is too contradictive for my precious soul!!! i'd better try and go back to sleep.

boring facts (yawn)

i really like susanne vega.

looking for an apartment is tiring. moving out and moving in will be even more tiring. carrying my stuff down the stairs will be a nightmare.

i like lying down on the grass in parks, though i'm scared of ticks.

i like reading a book in a cafe or in a park, then looking around for a while and continuing reading.

i like little blond children who are well behaved and not screaming.

i have never seen u2 live and i'm looking forward to the day when i will.

i miss my brother, who lives in istanbul.

right now i'm waiting for the nailpolish to dry so that i can go to bed.

i'll be back with less boring stuff sometime.